


Hard to Breath

by RagChinaDoll



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, can be slash if you want it to be, post-movie: Mission: impossible - fallout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 09:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15482520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagChinaDoll/pseuds/RagChinaDoll
Summary: Ethan is left startled after an uncomfortable conversation with Solomon Lane.WARNING: contains spoilers for Fallout. Don't read until after you have seen the film.





	Hard to Breath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snovyda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snovyda/gifts).



> Turn back all thee who've not seen Fallout. Spoilers be here. 
> 
> (Can be read as strong friendship or slash. Which ever you prefer.)

It wasn't Benji who told him how the attack went down.

It wasn't even someone he trusted to share the story with him. He had asked both Luther, Ilsa and Julia individually to share what they knew but none of them did, would, or could tell him anything. Luther knew as much as he did. Ilsa stated it wasn't for her to share. Julia argued she couldn't share patient information which told him more then anything else she could have shared with him.

The honour of sharing the details came from the man he least wanted to hear from again. Solomon Lane took a large slighter of joy as he retold the events to him. Ethan could see it in the disgusting mans face as he spoke. It seemed that no matter what emotion the vile man was expressing it held a large amount of sinister skin crawling undertone.

"I killed your friend," Lane hissed with a sickening curl of his lips. He tilted his head forward, making the chains clank together, in order to view Ethan's reaction clearer in the dark lighting.

Ethan didn't respond. Although he chose to accompany Lane, to guard him in case of another escape attempt or assassination, he didn't like a second of it. The minute the man was handed over couldn't approach faster. They where currently heading the a unknown spot where they would change from the van to a car to be less suspicious and noticeable.

"He's a fighter," Lane continued, his features reverting back to the usual bleak and blank expression. "He tried his hardest. He got a few punches in. But not enough. I heard a bone break when I slammed my fist to his stomach."

He knew he was talking about Benji. He'd always known it was a fight between himself and Benji. How Lane managed to get a few good strikes in as did Benji. He didn't know how Benji got the ligature mark around his neck, everyone had been tight lipped about that, all he had been told was that 'Lane got lucky.'

"When I wrapped that rope around his neck, I was contempt enough to squeeze the life out of his body. But I thought...Even that wasn't worthy enough. Not painful enough. To hang him would have been much more satisfying. I watched him die before Ilsa managed to rescue him. My hands may not have been around his throat, but I strangled the life out of Benji Dunn."

"Don't you dare ever say his name!" Ethan grunted. It was the sound of Benji's name coming out of Lane's lips that pushed him to react. He wished he hadn't. Wished he had been able to hold on to his anger and not allow the man in front of him the satisfaction of getting a rise from him. But he couldn't stand the sound of Benji's name coming from the mans lips. It sounded wrong.

Dreadfully wrong.

"How does it feel Hunt, to know how close you were to losing him, how close I was to ending Dunn's pathetic life for a second time?" Lane hissed.

Gritting his teeth, Ethan glared at the man refusing to allow himself express anything other then blind hatred. He couldn't afford another slip of his control.

Lane seemed to be satisfied for the rest of the journey. He said nothing just continued to smirk while Ethan tried to hold the storm inside his mind.

He felt betrayed. Why hadn't Benji told him everything? Why did he have to find out this way?

Before being pushed into the boot of the next car, Lane took a moment to lean close to Ethan and whisper one last threat. "I won't fail next time."

Slamming the trunk closed, Ethan promised, "I won't let there be a next time."

\---

The second he was free he made his way as fast as he could to Benji's.

Until their reports where signed off on they had each been placed on 'desk duty' which they could fulfil from their own homes. It suited all of them as they longed for the comfort of their own spaces. Not another hotel room, crammed into the back of an uncomfortable car, or some derelict building with uncertain safety elements. 

He walked up to Benji's front door knocking softly on the chipped wooden frame.

The apartment building Benji lived in wasn't the neatest. It could have used the passionate attention of a good decorator, carpet fitter, and a carpenter to revive it's tiered looks. Even then he wasn't sure if they could make it look pleasant and an eye saw. Or perhaps just a complete demolish would be more suitable. He couldn't understand why Benji chose to live here when IMF could find him any better location. 

"On the roof!" He heard someone call from behind him. 

He turned to spot one of Benji's neighbours seated outside their door. He had seen the old lady sat there every time he had come by. She never seemed to move from the spot always working on the same project with her nimble hands. 

 

"I'm sorry?" he asked unsure as to what she had said. 

"He goes to the roof. Can always tell when something on his mind when he heads up there," The lady mumbled not looking up from her project. 

"Thanks," He called back to her already moving towards the staircase.

He charged up the stairs taking the steps two at a time until he reached the broken door leading to roof. It looked as though someone had kicked the door in years ago with cobwebs accumulating at its sides by the hinges the door barely clung too. Just another part of this broken building no one cared to tend to. 

Before stepping though the door he heard Benji's voice softly talking to someone. Ethan didn't like how tired he sounded. stepping to the He stepped onto the gravel and finally saw Benji fully. The man stood by the edge leaning heavily against the railing, which didn't look completely safe, favouring right side. the light jacket he wore getting blown slightly by the night air. In front of him the cities lights glowed.

He had yet to notice Ethan's arrival too focused of the call he was having. 

"Honestly I'm fine," Benji explained and Ethan knew it was accompanied by a smile. On the phone or face to face Benji had the habit of sharing a smile to ease others concerns over him. Even knowing the person on the other side of the phone couldn't see him every knew this tic of Benji's. So ingrained in his nature had it become. "Just a few scrapes and bruises."

Ethan itched forward slightly unsure how to announce his arrival. It turned out that he needn't worry how he would as something crunching under his foot caused Benji to whirl around and spot him. Ethan held his hand up both as a greeting and a sign he was safe. Even in the minimal light he spotted the glint of fear in Benji's eyes.

"Hay Brandt I gotta go," Benji rushed to say as he continued to stare at Ethan. After a more pleasantries and promises Benji ended he call and pocketed the phone before plastering a smile on his face as he remarked, "You're back."

Ethan nodded as he walked to Benji's side. "Landed an hour ago." 

"And the first thing you do is come here," Benji uttered as if piecing together a puzzle. He tilted his his in an owl like manor in confusion. "Is something wrong?"

"Yea," Ethan whispered. He starred at Benji studying the still dark mark around his neck. Although it had been a few days, most of their injuries had begun to fade, even in the night the mark looked angry. "What happened with Lane?"

It must have been the third or possible the forth time he had asked that question in as many nights. But this time he was sure his voice didn't hold an ounce of escape for Benji. He needed Benji to know now was the time to share with him what had happened. 

 

 

Benji took a deep breath and released it slowly. He turned back to the city landscape. Taking another deep breath he spoke, "Hang ambushed us. Baited us..." 

Unable to stop the impulse, Ethan reached his hand up to grace his fingers above the marks. Benji winced at the touch as if the contact hurt him not only physically but mentally. 

"Lane said he killed you," Benji flinched at the name as it left Ethan's lips. Further regret at not ending the miserable mans life filtered though Ethan's mind. If he had killed him the first time none of this would have happened. But the truth was they where not murderers. Yes their line of work involved the occasional kill but to capture their enemies was always preferred. "That he hanged you." 

"I think for a moment he did," Benji confessed. "Sometimes feels like the rope is still there. Tightening with every breath that I try to take."

"Why didn't you tell me what happened?" 

"It's in my report," Benji admitted his voice stronger then a moment ago. "Everything that happened. In painful detail."

"I've not read it. Wanted to hear you tell me." 

So Benji told him. How Lane wrapped the rope around his neck and pulled it tight as they fought against each other. The pain shooting though him when Lane punched or kicked him. The adrenaline that went though him as a strike of his own landed. How his leg still pained him every now and then even though the pain had almost completely passed. The feeling of being pulled off the ground, his legs kicking out trying to find purchase, fear flying though his mind that this might be the end. He and Ilsa fighting to help each other. The cold glass in his hand slipping though his fingers.

And the moment when everything just faded away. There was no pain. No fear. No sound. No colour. There was nothing existing in the world anymore because he didn't exist. 

"Then it all came back," Benji gave a sad smile. "With a crash. Well actually a thud I think."

Ethan didn't say anything he wasn't sure what he could say that would suit the situation. He looked at Benji. The man so strong and underrated. Slinging his arm around Benji he pulled him into a sideways hug. They stood quietly together watching the sky's colour change with the first hints of dawn. Benji's leaning slightly against Ethan as exhaustion called his name. 

Ethan phone began to buzz. The two of them to step apart. Benji wiping at his eyes in an attempt to force aweaness into them. 

"Hunt," Ethan answered. 

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.." A robotic voice began. 

Turning to Benji, Ethan finished the quote, "Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

"Voice recognition confirmed. Good morning Mister Hunt," A robotic voice said on the other side of the phone. "Austin, Travis, 73301"

Ethan returned the phone to his pocket. A smile spreading across his face. "Benji, You ready to get back out there?" 

"It couldn't possible get worse then the last one, right?"

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write this after a conversation with [Snovyda](http//snovyda.tumblr.com)(go check out her stuff, she's incredible). Like it felt urgent to write it. So I focused on this and not adult stuff. The ending feels a little rushed to me but hay-ho. I might come back and edit. (i'll probably come back and edit more.)
> 
> I took some liberties with this. Given that it's my right as a writer to do so. Also this is the first time I've actually written Lane into a story. So I hope I managed to get his characterisation right. 
> 
> Once again I wished I owned more then just this idea. Cause if I owned the franchise, M:I-7 would just be a three hour long hug for Benji. Cause that guy needs it.
> 
> I'll be back soon cause I am inspired now. I must write or go mad.
> 
> As always reviews are greatly appreciated and loved.


End file.
